you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
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The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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