was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
