Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
