you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize