Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
