last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
