Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
