Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
