you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
