So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
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I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
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stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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