I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The power of my boobs compel you
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
