What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
