I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
