Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You're a waste of cheezeits
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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