After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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