stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
