So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
