Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
