I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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