ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
