So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
