I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
