Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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