"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
