I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
