with your own penis?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
