My hair reeks of homosexuality.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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