you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize