My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
