i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
