nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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