this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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