I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
