nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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