dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
