It's like God shit irony all over that family
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
