u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
