I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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