There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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