Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
