wrigley field is MILF paradise
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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