yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize