im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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