if you like me you must not know who I am
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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