dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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