we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
These tits shall not be calmed
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
