it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
