I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
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Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
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I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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