You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
