I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
