FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize