But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
