Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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