we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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