I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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