After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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