Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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